Psyche With a Wand
by A Fire in the Attic
Summary: Witch Weekly publishes an article stating that Hermione Granger is a modern day Venus. Unfortunately for her, the real Venus decides to get revenge. Cupid and Psyche AU. 14 Days of Fic
1. Part 1

**Prompt: Cupid**

**Word Count: 2820**

**Pairing: Dramione**

**Trigger Warning: Kidnapping  
**

* * *

Lucius was not a happy god. It wasn't easy, being the god of beauty! He should know, seeing how his slender frame and aquiline features had gotten him mistaken as a _woman_ for _years_. Mortals had given him names like "Venus" and "Aphrodite" for as long as he could remember, but, well, at least they'd named a planet after him.

But that's off subject, he reminded himself sternly. There was some paltry _girl_ on Earth that was getting entirely too much attention for his liking. People were starting to say that _she_ was Venus reincarnated which was absurd. Gods don't die. How dare they compare her beauty to his? Honestly, you disappear for a few hundred years and people forget that no one is as beautiful as you. _No one_.

In true Olympus fashion, Lucius had a plan to rectify the situation. "Eros," he called, and after a moment, his son strolled into the room.

"It's Draco now," Eros reminded him, frowning petulantly. "How many times do I have to tell you?"

"At least once more," Lucius replied. "Anyway, I need you to do something for me. There's a mortal girl on earth that people are treating like, well, me. Like _me_, Draco!"

Eros rolled his eyes. "I suppose you want me to make her fall in love with some dumb mortal."

"Yes!" Lucius huffed. He brushed a long golden lock behind his ear. "I'm so glad I raised you well enough to truly understand me."

"Your punishments are always the same," Eros pointed out. "But okay. What's her name?"

"Hermione Granger," Lucius replied. He wrinkled his nose, thinking of her. "I don't know what they see in her, honestly."

"I suppose you have the other victim selected?" Eros said, examining his nails.

"Her fool of a friend, who's already mostly in love with her. Some poor redhead...ah, Weasley! Ronald, or something foolish like that." In fact, Lucius knew exactly what Ronald Weasley's name was. He just found the boy so off-putting that he was making every effort to forget him. Besides the occasional evil cackle when he recalled that he was forcing two people to fall in love. It was _good_ to be the father of the god of love...ah.

"Very well," Eros sighed. He spread his wings and spun on the spot, vanishing with a soft pop.

* * *

Draco, not Eros, thank you very much, flew to a small flat in London. It was after dark, so any mortals who looked up wouldn't see anything. Still, he looked down, watching carefully. It wouldn't do for someone to see him and (the horror) worship him.

He landed on the awning of an open window. He peered inside, and—ah, yes. There she was, fast asleep on top of her covers, a pair of glasses still perched on her nose. Papers were strewn around her, but at least her clothing looked comfortable.

He hopped inside, landing lightly and pulling out his bow and arrow. He would shoot her and then grab the Weasley boy, bring him here, and bang! Instant love.

Sometimes, Draco's job was so rewarding.

It was less rewarding, of course, when he got drawn as a baby in a diaper with pink heart-shaped arrows. Bloody _pink_. He wasn't a child, thank you.

He approached the bed slowly, carefully pulling a (not heart-shaped) arrow out of his quiver, and moved to notch it in the bow, when—

Hermione sat up, a slender stick pointed directly at him. "Who are you?" she demanded

Unfortunately, Draco was so startled, that the arrow he was holding slipped and cut his leg—oh, no, Zeus, no—he was in _love_. That wasn't supposed to happen. He was only supposed to make other people fall in love.

A jet of red light flew out of the slender stick, and he reacted on instinct, darting slightly to the left. His mouth was ajar, though, because he'd never seen someone so beautiful. She _should_ be treated the way people treated his father. Maybe she should be the new goddess of beauty. People would be able to call her Venus or Aphrodite and it wouldn't be offensive—

Another jet of light was coming at him, and he groaned, spinning on the spot and disappearing.

How could this happen?

He can't tell his dad.

* * *

Hermione Granger did not like to be woken up, even if she shouldn't have fallen asleep in the first place. Further, she didn't like to be woken up by strange men in her room! True enough, he hadn't done anything but the fact remained that he'd woken her up, and made it near impossible to fall back asleep. How in the world had he gotten past her wards?

It upset her so much that she hadn't been able to focus all day, which is why she only caught half of what Mrs. Weasley was saying over dinner. "—any luck, Hermione dear?"

"Sorry?" she asked, jerking up from poking at her potatoes.

Harry snorted into his pumpkin juice.

"I was wondering, given the recent article published about you in Witch Weekly, if you'd had any more luck with young men, lately?" Mrs. Weasley asked patiently.

Ron looked slightly miffed, but he just continued to eat. He was well aware that he and Hermione wouldn't be dating again.

Hermione was more than a little miffed, however. "That piece of tripe they published about me has only caused me problems," she replied. Perhaps the article, claiming that Hermione was "Wizarding London's Modern Day Venus" and the "Most Eligible Bachelorette."

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "Suddenly wizards everywhere are getting the courage to ask her out. Really slowed her down at work."

"It _did_," Hermione snapped, decidedly displeased with Harry's teasing. "I don't want to date someone who only manages get up the courage when I'm _famous_."

"Hermione, you've been famous since you were, like, 11," Ron pointed out. "By proxy of the Boy Who Lived."

"Doesn't matter," Hermione said, waving a hand. "I don't have any one interested in me."

"Well," Mrs. Weasley said primly. "We have some cousins coming in over the weekend, and they—"

Hermione groaned and covered her face with her palm. "Actually, Mrs. Weasley, I can't."

"Call me Molly, dear," Mrs. Weasley said. "And I don't see why not—"

"I have a date," Hermione said. "I lied. I met someone just last night who didn't have a clue who I was. He's not from London." The man from last night had looked Grecian...

Mrs. Weasley blinked, obviously stunned. Ron and Harry were both gaping at her, too. "Why would you lie?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"I just didn't want to get your hopes up," Hermione said, cutting into her roast beef. "In case things didn't work out."

Mrs. Weasley beamed. "Well, that's wonderful."

"Yes," Hermione said, a strained smile on her face. "It is."

* * *

Draco had been spying on her. What was the point of being a god if he didn't use his powers, anyway? So he knew for a fact that she was either lying to Mrs. Weasley or she was open to a date with him.

He was in love. He was a god. The god of love, in fact. There was no way she could resist...right?

Of course.

So when she left the Weasleys, it was easy enough to transport her somewhere moreto his style.

"Merlin's pants!" she shouted when they arrived at the forest. "What in the world?" She spun around, that slender stick out again.

He appeared in front of her. "Hello."

Hermione (what a beautiful name) didn't even hesitate to throw a jet of light at him. And it _hurt_.

"Ow, Zeus, wait—" he held up his hand and stared as it rippled in front of him. He grimaced. "You're a _witch_ aren't you?" How had he missed _that_?

"Of course I bloody am, what do you expect—you're a wizard aren't you—oh, Merlin...you're..."

He saw the information clicking in her brain, and he smiled at her. "Oh, brilliant, you're intelligent."

She scowled at him. "Of course I am. Who are you?"

"I'm..." he stopped. "Draco."

She looked confused. "But that's not—okay. So, what do you want?"

He beamed at her. "Join me. For dinner!"

"I don't go on dates with kidnappers," she informed him. "So I'll be leaving now." She spun on her heel, but when she turned back to face him, she looked very disturbed. "We're not in London any more, are we," she said, and it wasn't a question.

"Of course not," he said. "Welcome to Olympus."

"Merlin," she said again, but she moved closer. "So how do i convince you to let me leave?"

He thought about telling her that it would be impossible to do that, but instead he shrugged. "Just dinner, for now. Come on, it will get Mrs. Weasley off your back."

She looked outraged. "Just how long have you been watching me?" she demanded.

"Since I snuck into your room last night," he said candidly. Honesty was the best policy.

"Why did you sneak into my room last night?"

"My father asked me too. He was jealous of you," he said, and he offered her an arm.

"Why?"

"Apparently people were beginning to worship you," he replied. He moved his arm a little, trying to get her to grab it.

"No," she said.

He huffed. "Fine. Follow me."

* * *

They dined in a small gazebo surrounded by trees. Hermione was a little wary of taking the food from someone she was fairly certain was a god, considering the fate of Persephone. But eventually she ate because she figured she was stuck here any way, and she always thought better when she's full.

The food was delightful, and the company was, kidnapping aside, surprisingly okay. Draco made her laugh, and to be honest, he was good looking.

But the kidnapping was still a thing, so when they finished dinner, she very clearly said, "This was very nice, but I'd like to go home now."

Draco pouted. "But we've had so much fun."

"But you kidnapped me. So, I would like to leave now."

Draco opened his mouth to respond when a very tall and beautiful—was that a man or a woman?—appeared. "Eros, I thought I told you to deal with her, not bring her here!"

"Eros?" Hermione repeated, stunned. "What—"

Draco waved a hand at her. "It's Draco, father. And I am dealing with her!"

"Dealing with me?" she repeated.

"Not what I meant at all," Draco—Eros?—said quickly. "I like you. I brought you here because I like you—"

"You like her?" the man demanded. "Eros, I gave you explicit instructions to make her fall in love with the Weasley boy."

"Are you Aphrodite?" Hermione demanded. "And what do you mean you were supposed to make me fall in love with Ron? That wouldn't work in the long run."

The man sniffed. "My name is Lucius," he informed her. "But yes, I suppose that's the closest mortal comparison. Anyway, just one of Eros' arrows," Lucius paused to chuckle, then, apparently quite amused by the word play, and then continued. "Would make you fall in love forever."

"Bloody hell," Hermione said.

Draco frowned at her. "Hades keeps the place quite blood free, thank you."

She snorted, and threw her hands up. "How did this happen?" she bemoaned.

"Yes," Lucius said, scowling. Somehow the expression didn't reduce his beauty. "How _did_ this happen?"

Draco looked embarrassed. "She's beautiful, father," he muttered uselessly.

Hermione started to preen, and then remembered that that wasn't actually an acceptable reason to kidnap someone. "I want to go home," she said, sighing. "Can you please take me home?"

Draco looked sad, and for a moment, Hermione felt a little sad. "Okay," he said and offered a hand.

She accepted his hand, intending just to shake it, but instead he pulled her close and kissed her lips, just once.

Startled, she shut her eyes. When she opened them, she was home. Alone.

* * *

"How did your date go?" Harry asked the next day over lunch.

Hermione was quite aware that she looked wrecked, and honestly, she couldn't bring herself to care. Greek gods seemed to have a special ability to keep her up at night. "It went well," she said, fiddling with her napkin. "Sort of."

"I was surprised when you told me you went right after dinner," he admitted. He took a bite out of a chip. "I suppose you were extra hungry."

"Surprisingly," she agreed. Getting kidnapped takes a lot out of a person, she considered adding, but decided against it. Harry had enough to worry about—and no, that was a lie. He didn't worry about much these days. But she didn't want to tell him because, doubtlessly, he'd tell Ron, and the two of them would lead a manhunt—or would that be godhunt?

"Not a beast then?" he asked. "Would you see him again?"

"Merely to get Mrs. Weasley off my back," Hermione agreed.

Harry snorted, and said, "You mean Molly."

"No, I don't—" Hermione abruptly stopped, because ink was appearing on her napkin.

_Really?_

"Merlin," she muttered. "You never stop, do you?"

_No_.

"What are you saying, Hermione?" Harry asked.

"Don't worry about it, Harry." Quieter, she added, "I suppose if you didn't kidnap me a second time."

_Deal._

"What are you on about?" Harry asked. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," she said to Harry. "Tonight," she mumbled.

_Lovely._

* * *

Hermione opened her door to reveal the Greek god of love, and this time, at least, she wasn't surprised. "Hello," she said. "Would you like to come in?"

"Please," he said, smiling.

"No wings?" she asked as he brushed by her.

"Not tonight."

"How does that work?" she questioned. "You just suck them into your back?"

He smiled slightly. "Essentially."

"Brilliant," she said, and unable to help herself, she brushed a hand over his back. And then blushed deeply. "Oh, sorry."

"It's all right," he answered. "So, where are we going?"

"No where. We went to your home, now we're at mine." She paused, frowning. "Again. And I intend to get an explanation out of you, this time."

He sighed. "Very well. Are you going to feed me?"

"Right this way," she said, leading him to the kitchen. "I hope you like fish and chips. I'm awful at making anything else."

"Sounds great," Draco said, though he looked lost.

"It is," she agreed, and served him a plate. "I expect an explanation really soon, actually."

"Can it wait?" he asked.

"You kidnapped me," she said. "You'll explain now." She dipped a chip into vinegar.

He watched her with a rapt expression that was a mixture of disgust and wonder. "Dad said people were starting to worship you for your beauty," he began. Cautiously he tried a bite of a chip and only grimace a little. "Not bad."

She nodded primly. "That article," she muttered. "That stupid article."

"What's wrong with being known as beautiful?" he asked. "Dad would be wounded."

"That's just the least interesting thing about me," she said, sighing. "Never mind that I've practically rewritten the laws regarding mythical creatures in the six years I've been a ministry official."

Draco's eyebrows lifted in surprised. "So you're the girl Artemis is so keen on."

"Artemis?" she repeated numbly.

"Yeah," he said. "But Dad loathes you. Can't stand any one being prettier than him."

"I don't think I am, to be honest," she said, tugging on a strand of hair.

"But you are," he argued quickly.

"Stop distracting and explain," she said, pointing a chip at him.

He huffed. "Fine. Dad wanted to make you fall in love with Ron Weasley, who he finds to be the most disgusting mortal of all time, apparently—"

"He's not that bad," Hermione interjected. "But I don't want to be in love with him."

"Of course not," he soothed. "But just when I was about to shoot you I scratched myself and fell...in love..."

Which, okay. That wasn't exactly expected. "You're in love with me," she clarified.

"Yes," he agreed.

"So you kidnapped me."

"Not my brightest moment," he admitted.

"No. Can you fall...out of love?"

"Of course not," he said, sounding ultimately offended. "My magic is completely pure."

Hermione sighed. "Fine," she said, shrugging. "So what, we date now?"

Draco frowned. "Is that what mortals are doing nowadays?"

She punched him. "Yes, that's what 'mortals' are doing nowadays. How old are you?"

"Gods don't count years," he said, frowning. "So how do you even date?"

"Merlin," she said, groaning. "Fine. We'll date. Dinner. Movies. Walks in the park and, I don't know, iceskating."

"Sure," he said, beaming. Being in love was so nice. Obviously he'd been doing everyone favors all these years, no matter what anyone thought. "Just one question, though."

"What's that?" she asked.

"What's a movie?"

* * *

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.**  
**

**A/N**: Soooo in preparation for Valentine's Day, I'm doing 14 prompts. Link is on my profile. Dramione isn't actually a pairing I've written before, and I would have liked to make this more in depth, and more like Draco, but, eh, I figure he's a besotted god in this case, so it works out...Anyway I wanted to post it today, so! Enjoy.


	2. Part 2

**Prompt: date**

**Word Count: 1341**

**Pairing: Dramione, Lucius/Narcissa**

* * *

Hermione's social life was suddenly overwhelmed by the Greek god of love, and, well, she wasn't horribly torn up about it.

Kidnapping aside, he was a nice enough guy to have around. He was very attentive and actually fairly intelligent, for all that he was still missing out on a lot of things going on in this century.

"So you're telling me that you can, er, record people and play them back later. And people pay to watch other people."

"It tells stories, Draco," Hermione explained. "And yes, that's exactly what happens. It's like Homer telling the story of the Odyssey, only you can actually see it happening."

"Hmm," Draco said. "And we just sit any where?" He gestured to the dark theater, which was, at the moment, filled with muggles.

"Yes," she said, nodding. "How about here?" She pointed to a couple of seats next to two guys dressed, respectively, as Legolas and Gimli.

They slid down the aisle and took their seats. Draco leaned over to murmur in her ear, "Shouldn't they be dressed more normally?"

"It's the midnight premiere of this movie. It's quite normal for muggles to dress this way for premieres. They're dressed like the characters."

"Oh," Draco said, but clearly he didn't understand. "Should we have dressed up?"

Hermione shook her head. "Too much like my work clothes."

"Okay," Draco agreed. "So what is this movie about?"

Hermione smiled. Harry was interested enough in movies, but he'd never liked Lord of the Rings. Ron didn't like movies at all, so she'd watched the first two movies of the trilogy alone. "It's about a hobbit who saves the world," she said.

"What's a hobbit?" he asked.

"A little person with big feet. They like eating and live in holes in the ground. Also, they're adorable," she answered.

"Hmm," he said, but then the movie was starting and they focused in.

* * *

The next weekend, they went to dinner in Greece. Hermione had been a bit wary about apparating across borders, but Draco had merely rolled his eyes and reminded her that he was a god and no one would be able to detect it.

And if she was honest with herself, she really wanted a gyro. She wasn't hard to convince.

He only touched her three times that night—he held her hand to take her to Greece and then again to take her home, and he brushed a finger along the edge of her lips when she had a bit of sauce there.

It was their fourth date, so maybe it would have made sense for them to kiss by now, but somehow he seemed to understand that she wasn't ready for it just yet.

He was in love with her, and maybe, just maybe, she could get there soon.

* * *

The next Tuesday, he met her for lunch in a muggle sandwich shop so they could continue to avoid reporters from Witch Weekly. If Draco was bothered about the secrecy, he didn't let on.

It was _amazing_ to date someone who wasn't after her for her fame.

* * *

At the end of December, she met Draco's mother, who turned out to be Ares. Only...a woman.

It shouldn't have surprised her, considering that Aphrodite had turned out to be Lucius, a very beautiful male.

Ares was fairly attractive, too, but as Hermione had suspected, not more beautiful than Lucius.

Ares regarded Hermione coldly, over a glass of tea. "Of all the people you could have selected, you picked the one girl your father hates," she said, frowning at Draco.

Hermione blushed furiously.

"Father is ridiculous, mother," Draco said, rolling his eyes. "Besides, Athena likes her."

"Athena isn't your dad."

"But she's your friend," Draco pointed out.

Ares harrumphed. "I don't suppose I could just have you sent to battle?" she suggested to Hermione. "You'd go out with a bang."

"I'm not sure that would work, honestly," Hermione said nervously. "I've had absurd luck during battles in the past."

"Oh, right, the man who fancied himself a god." Ares tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I suppose you're the sidekick to that Potter boy?"

"Ah, yes," she said. "One of them."

"Well that's just lovely," she said, clapping her hands. She suddenly seemed a lot more interested in Hermione. "We all admired you quite a bit during the battle." She turned to Draco. "Very well, you can marry her, now that I know she's a warrior."

"Oh, we're not that serious yet," Hermione said quickly.

"Excuse me?" Ares said, eyebrows climbing upward.

"We've only been dating for a month!"

"I don't know what dating means," Ares said, frowning.

Draco sighed, "Mother, it's different for mortals now. They don't get married right away any more."

"Absurd," Ares said, frowning. "I don't like it."

"Just...get used to it," Draco said.

* * *

January went by in a whirl, and Draco took her ice-skating no less than five times. The first time they'd gone, he'd been awful at it. And angry. So he insisted on coming back to defeat the skill.

Hermione found it oddly endearing, and she didn't mind being better at something than he was.

By the fifth time he could skate without falling, counted it at as a success, and moved on.

* * *

In February, Draco took her to another movie. He was still a little confused as to which movies he preferred, but since he was the god of love and all, Hermione thought he might enjoy a romantic comedy.

And he did. He totally did. When the couple kissed for the first time, she noticed him brushing a tear away.

She tried not to snort.

After that, he was a lot more interested in movies. "More romance," he would say petulantly, which was how Hermione ended up renting a bunch of romantic comedies and marathoning them in her flat with Draco.

She didn't even like The Notebook, but Draco made her watch it three times.

"You're lucky I like you," she grumbled after the second time.

He beamed at her. "You do?"

She punched his shoulder. "Of course I do. I wouldn't have invited you over for dinner if I didn't. I don't forgive most of my kidnappers," she teased.

"Other people kidnap you?"

"Not in a while, goodness. Calm down."

Draco tentatively touched her hair, which, okay, was really sweet. "I don't like the idea."

"The last people who kidnapped me, you know, beside you, are dead or in prison. And it was really more of a capturing than a kidnapping," she mused.

"But that's awful," he said.

She shrugged. "Don't worry, really. It's in the past."

He sighed. "Can I kiss you now?"

She pursed her lips. "I suppose."

He leaned forward and brushed his lips softly against hers. He smiled when he pulled back.

She pouted. "I always expect you to be much more...passionate."

He rolled his eyes. "God of love, not lust."

She groaned and leaned forward. "Well, can I get a little passion?"

He smirked. "I guess so."

* * *

"Narcissa!" Lucius shrieked, throwing himself into the room.

Ares looked up from her book, frowning. "Ares," she corrected. "What?"

"Why won't you use the nickname I gave you?" he demanded.

"Because it's longer than my actual name. Besides, it reminds me too much of that idiot Narcissus."

He frowned and sat down next to her on the couch. "Why did you give Eros permission to date that foolish mortal girl?"

"For one thing," Ares said, setting down her book, "She's very intelligent. Further, she's a warrior. And," she held up a finger, and then jabbed it into Lucius' chest. "Eros is in love with her. You're going to let it go."

"No," Lucius said.

"Yes."

"No...she needs to prove herself," Lucius said, snapping his fingers. "I have an idea."

"No, you most certainly do not," Ares said, standing to tower over him. "I'm the god of war and I _will_ destroy you if you try anything."

He pouted. "You ruin everything."

She scoffed. "And you love me for it."

He side-eyed her. "Sometimes."

* * *

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

**A/N**: So, here you go! Part deux. There may be a Part trois, but for now, just take this. Ha. Anyway, I'm still a day behind, but I was busier today than I expected to be...Oh well.


	3. Part 3

**Prompt: Chocolates**

**Word Count: 2849**

**Pairings: Dramione, Lucius/Narcissa (implied), Hades/Persephone (mentioned)**

* * *

"So when are we going to meet this bloke you've been dating, Hermione?" Ron asked at lunch one Friday.

Hermione considered this. "Well, um, I suppose you could come by my flat tonight."

Ron nudged Harry. "Told you it would be that easy."

Harry pouted.

"What would be that easy?" Hermione asked.

"Getting you to introduce us to him," Harry said.

She rolled her eyes. "You two are my best friends. To be honest it just didn't occur to me to set aside a meeting time. We've been working so hard to keep Witch Weekly from finding out that I haven't introduced him to any one."

"What if we don't like him?" Ron asked.

Hermione shrugged. "I guess you can tell me what it is that's so repulsive, I'll ask him to clarify, and I'll decide who has raised more valid concerns."

Harry laughed into his coffee. "You would pick the most logical course of action."

"Relationships get ruined that way, Harry," Hermione said, frowning. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm just looking out for myself."

"So you really like him?" Ron asked.

Hermione nodded. "He's very kind and very devoted."

Harry and Ron exchanged a glance. "We'll be there."

* * *

Only Draco didn't show up that night.

Harry and Ron got restless, recommended that she break up with him, and left after waiting for an hour.

"Draco?" she called uselessly. "What's going on?"

No reply came, and she sighed. She wandered into the kitchen and put a kettle of tea on.

"Do make enough for two people," someone said from behind her, and she lurched around. Lucius, the god(dess? Hermione wasn't clear on that yet) of beauty, sat at her table, looking distinctly unimpressed.

She gaped at him momentarily, but numbly added more water to the kettle and took the seat across from him. "I suppose you're here to sneer at me about your son not showing up?" she suggested.

Lucius wrinkled his nose. "Olympus, no. I just assumed you would want to know where he is."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "I suppose."

Lucius smirked. "Then I have a proposition."

"Okay," she said, waving a hand. "Tell me."

"First," Lucius said, pointing at the stove. "Tea."

As if on cue, the kettle whistled. Hermione hurried over to it, not bothering to wonder how it had happened. She was beyond that by this point. Gods and goddesses always seemed to know when things would happen, or perhaps they made it happen.

Semantics, she supposed.

She handed Lucius a cup and sat down again with her own. "Sugar or milk?" she asked.

He frowned. "No, thank you."

She shrugged and added both. "So what's the proposition?"

"Eros tells me that you mortals celebrate this foolish holiday, um, Valentine's Day," he said. "He is of course enamored with the idea, seeing how everyone remembers him that day, or something." He made a face clearly indicating his distaste.

"Yes," Hermione hedged. "We celebrate it."

"Well, Eros gets really depressed this time of year because apparently he gets worshipped as a diaper-wearing toddler with 'stupid heart-shaped arrows,'" Lucius sighed, making air quotes.

"Also true," Hermione agreed. "So he's holed up in Olympus hovering in between happiness and sorrow?"

"Basically," Lucius said, leaning back with a smirk. "It would really cheer him up if you went to visit him."

Hermione nodded. "Okay, so how do I get there?"

Lucius laughed. "I haven't given you the proposition yet. Complete this list, and I'll take you." He slid a slip of paper across the table at her.

She picked it up and read it quickly.

1. Sort out these M&Ms. Eros only eats the red ones, Narcissa only eats the white ones, and I eat the pink ones.

2. I want a gold necklace with a heart on it. Preferably with some fancy stone. I imagine this will more than make up for all the time you've neglected to pay homage to me.

3. Retrieve a bottle of champagne. Do make sure to pick it up directly from France.

4. Persephone borrowed my make up collection. Retrieve it from Hades.

"When do you expect me to have all this finished?" Hermione asked, looking up from the list with frown.

Lucius was gone. The only evidence that he'd be there at all was the empty tea cup and the slip of paper in her hands.

And a...trash bag? She stood and opened the bag that was sitting where Lucius had been only moments before. It was full of Valentine M&Ms.

"Gods," she whispered despairingly. "How did this happen to me?"

* * *

She stuck her head in the fireplace. "Kingsley Shacklebolt," she said very clearly, and waited for her head to appear in his office.

It only took a moment, and then she was facing the Minister of Magic. "Hello, Ms. Granger," Kingsley said pleasantly. "How are you today?"

"Hullo," she said glumly. "I'm all right, but I was wondering if you could help me get permission to apparate to France."

"May I ask why?" Kingsley said, even as he got the paperwork from his desk.

Hermione sighed. "Would you believe me if I said the Greek god of beauty wanted a bottle of champagne?"

Kingsley's quill stilled and he frowned. "No," he said honestly.

"Then I'm calling in a favor, and you know I've never done that," Hermione said. "Although I'm telling the truth."

Kingsley shook his head and started writing again. "It won't be any trouble."

"Thank you," she said. "If you'll just floo me when it's ready?"

"Certainly," he said. "Have a nice evening."

"You too," Hermione replied, and then pulled her head out of the fireplace. She turned back to her dining room, grabbed her box of gallon bags, and set to work. She used a measuring cup to scoop out handfuls of M&Ms and slowly plowed through.

At about midnight, Ginny Weasley burst through her front door. "I've brought you something," she said, setting an envelope down on the table. "What in Merlin's name are you doing?"

"Sorting colors," Hermione said. She was maybe a quarter through with the task. "Could you do me a favor?"

"Sure," Ginny said, shrugging.

"Take a bag of galleons and buy me a gold necklace with a heart pendant," Hermione said. "With the most ostentatious stone you can find."

"Price range?"

"Less than a thousand galleons. Put it under my name if there's not enough in this bag," Hermione said, pointing at the bag she'd pulled out of her charmed safe earlier.

"Who are you buying this for?" Ginny asked, eyes narrowed. "Ron said you'd gotten a boyfriend, but I can't think of a single boy who would appreciate this kind of gift."

"It's for his father," Hermione replied absentmindedly.

"Even stranger," Ginny said. "Can I send Kreacher over to help you?"

"That's really not necessary," Hermione began, but Ginny was already speaking.

"Kreacher," she called, and the house-elf appeared with a small snap.

"Yes, Mistress?" Kreacher said, smiling. "Kreacher can be of assistance?"

"Please help Ms. Hermione sort these M&Ms by color," Ginny said, pointing at the bag. "I'm sure Ms. Hermione will feed you if you get hungry. Just ask."

"Of course," Hermione said quickly, more than a little mortified.

"Not necessary," Kreacher said. He snapped his fingers, and suddenly all of the M&Ms were sorted into several gallon bags. There were about three of each color, and now Hermione had an empty trash bag.

"Oh," Hermione gasped. "Thank you so much, Kreacher. Would either of you like some tea?"

Kreacher glanced at Ginny. "If Ms. Hermione is not minding," he said.

"Just a moment," Hermione said, rising and turning the heat on the kettle up.

Ginny looked on smugly. "I'll go look for a necklace tomorrow. Where are you going?"

Hermione walked back to the table and opened the envelope. "To France. I don't suppose I can make it up to you by bringing you back some champagne?"

Ginny wrinkled her nose. "What's that?"

Hermione blinked at her. "Bubbly wine."

"Oh, a muggle drink," Ginny said. "Sure. I'll just bring the necklace here then, shall I?"

"Sure," Hermione said. "Sounds wondeful."

The kettle started whistling and Hermione gave Kreacher some tea. "Thank you so much, darling," she said.

It wasn't that she liked making house elves do her bidding, but technically this had been Ginny's doing. The least she could do was make Kreacher feel like she appreciated his help.

"Thank you, Ms. Hermione," Kreacher said politely.

Ginny left with the money and a promise to drop by the next day while Kreacher finished his tea. He popped out after putting his dishes in the sink with a small wave.

Hermione sighed as she surveyed the chocolate on the table. "Thank goodness," she mumbled.

* * *

The next morning she apparated to Champagne in France. She passed her papers over to the official waiting in the immigrant apparation point.

"How long weel vous be in France?" the man asked boredly as he flicked through her paperwork.

"Just for today," she replied.

"Vereh good. Have a nice day."

So Hermione left the wizarding immigration office and got on a train to the nearest winery to buy a nice bottle of wine. It figured that the first time she ever went to france she wouldn't feel like sight-seeing.

Which drew her up short. What on earth was she doing? Why was she so worried about Draco when she was operating on information given to her by Draco's father, who had clearly stated his distaste for her?

Because Draco didn't show up, she reminded herself firmly. And Draco is in love with you.

But the fact that she was doing this for him seemed to indicate stronger feelings than she realized.

Numbly she picked out two bottles of the most expensive wine she could find, paid for them, and walked back to the station.

She considered cursing Aphrodite for this but then realized he might hear her and that would be the worst thing.

She apparated back to her flat with the champagne after thanking the immigration officer.

"Gods," she muttered again. "Freaking gods."

* * *

She stared at the champagne, necklace and candy spread out on her table. "Okay," she said at last. "Lucius? I've done the first three, but I haven't a clue how to get to Hades."

"Oh, Olympus, you didn't think I'd make you figure that out, did you?"

She jumped and whirled.

Lucius was sitting on her counter, legs crossed and eyebrow raised. "You sorted the chocolate! And got the champagne...let me see the necklace."

She started to move toward him, but then he was just there next to her, pulling the necklace out of her hands. She was suddenly grateful for the obvious restraint Draco was using around her. He seemed to be quite careful about not freaking her out, whereas Lucius seemed to be trying for it.

"This is beautiful," Lucius said, wrapping an arm around her. "Hold on tight."

She grasped at his waist just barely in time, because suddenly she was at the River Styx while Lucius patted her head in a very patronizing manner. "I hope you have a coin for the boatsman."

She blinked. "What?"

"Bye!" he said, and disappeared.

She stared blankly at the approaching boat, and then across the shore. "I'm a witch," she said blankly, and tried apparating across the river. She was only half surprised when it worked. She started walking down the stairs that, apparently, led to the realm of Hades.

She thought about shouting for Hades, but then she wasn't sure if Lucius wanted her to steal the makeup back, or if she was meant to ask for it. Then she remembered that she didn't want to be a thief. She'd gotten her fill of law-breaking back when she was saving the world from Voldemort.

"Persephene?" she called hesitantly.

And, _Merlin_, gods and goddesses were annoying. She just popped into existence in front of Hermione like it was totally normal.

"Yes?" she asked, eyebrow raised.

"I'm looking for Lucius' makeup set?" she said nervously.

Persephone frowned. "Aphrodite said I could have it."

Hermione groaned. "He would...To be perfectly honest, I think he sent me on this task just to keep me from his son."

Persephone's eyebrows shot up. "Are you the girl everyone but Lucius likes?"

Hermione shrugged. "I guess so."

"And Aphrodite is assigning you difficult tasks to keep you and Eros apart," she said, stroking her chin.

"Yes," Hermione sighed.

"Well," Persephone clasped her hands together. "Give me the chocolate bar in your pocket and I'll give you the makeup."

Hermione blinked. She kept the chocolate in her pocket in case she ran into a dementor or something equally happiness-sucking, but she hadn't thought gods and goddesses could sense that sort of thing.

"Of course we can," Persephone said airily. "Do we have a deal?"

Hermione tried not to think about how her mind had just been read. "Yes," she agreed. "But it doesn't seem like a fair trade," she said honestly.

"It's terribly difficult to get chocolate down here," Persephone explained, holding out the makeup box.

Hermione wasn't sure where the box had come from, but she pulled the chocolate out of her pocket and handed it to Persephone. "Thank you," she said as she made the exchange.

"Not a problem," Persephone said. "Lovely to see you."

"Could you point me toward Olympus?" Hermione asked.

"Hades can take you," Persephone said brightly. "Hades!"

Hermione stiffened, expecting a dark, angry god—or maybe just a sassy, blue, angry one with flames for hair. But the god who appeared was merely tall, dark, and dare she say it, handsome. He nodded at her. "To Olympus?" he drawled.

Hermione nodded.

He offered an arm and she took it, shutting her eyes.

She came back into existence alone in front of someone's home. She walked up the steps and called out, "Lucius?"

Lucius tapped her shoulder from behind her.

She nearly dropped the makeup box. "Stop doing that!" she demanded. "Merlin!"

"Oh, you were successful," Lucius said, sounding disappointed as he took the box from her. He completely ignored her command, and instead, pointed to the house. "He's in there, moping."

* * *

Draco was facedown on his bed, sprawled eagle style.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked as she entered the room.

Draco sat up, surprised. "Hermione! How did you get here?"

"Hades brought me here," she said.

Draco flickered and then he was in front of her, using that aspect of his god powers for the first time.

She only jumped a little. "What?" she asked.

For lack of a better word, Draco was freaking out. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her close. "You're dead?" he wailed.

"No," she said quickly, shaking her head. "Your dad sent me on a quest to Hades. He wanted his makeup set back."

"Are you sure?" Draco asked. "Because I'm sure something can be done if you're dead. I'm friends with Hades, but Zeus hates me so I'm not sure, but I'd do anything—"

"I'm positive, Draco, calm down," Hermione said soothingly. "Do I feel dead?"

He breathed out a sigh of relief. "No."

"I heard you were upset," Hermione said, carefully reaching up to remove his hands from her shoulders. She held both of them in her own instead.

He sighed and leaned forward until his head was resting on her shoulder. "I'm not a baby," he whined. "My arrows aren't pink or heart shaped, either."

"No, they aren't," Hermione agreed. "But why don't we celebrate that people are remembering you today, instead of thinking about how wrong they are? After all, I know what you really look like."

"You do," he agreed, stepping closer. His hands slid out of hers to rest on her waist.

"I like how you look," she told him.

"I like how _you_ look," he muttered rebelliously.

"And I like you," she finished.

"Really?" he asked, leaning back to look her in the eyes. "Dad thinks you had some sort of revelation while you were in France. He kept telling me weird things you were doing. Why were you sorting chocolates?"

"He made me," Hermione sighed. "And I don't just like you. Is it too soon to say I love you?" The last part came out rushed and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Hermione," Draco almost whined. "I'm the god of love. Of course it's not too soon." He leaned forward and kissed her, really kissed her for what felt like the first time. It was the first time it was this intense, in any case.

Everything felt soft, in the way his lips slid over hers and caught them between his. His fingers tightened at her waist and then loosened, like he was remembering she was mortal and breakable but he still didn't want to let her go.

She sighed and leaned into him.

Dating the god of love had its perks.

"Are you going to explain why you were doing my father's bidding?" he whispered against her lips.

"No," she answered, and pulled him back for another kiss.

* * *

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

**A/N**: Man this just kept getting crackier. Anyway, this is definitely the end of this! Hope you enjoyed it. Written for the 14 days of fic!


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